The Pearl of Asia
As I type this I’m flying over Tokyo, quickly approaching the International Date Line- my time in Asia has come to an end. After spending less than 24 hours (sadly) in Hong Kong, China I boarded a plane to Los Angeles. I have hours and hours of flying left to try to sum up my experience in Cambodia and to tell you what I’m taking away from “the pearl of Asia”. This is a daunting task. I feel like a new person- full of fire, inspiration, love, and gratitude. I see the world in a newly found light and crave to do and be better. As my time in Phnom Penh began to wrap up my feeling of homesickness withered away and nearly subdued entirely. That city taught me so more than I had expected and could have even dreamed of. I was able to live in a place I’d never thought I’d even visit- and I enjoyed every sweaty dusty step of the way. Three months ago I hesitantly left my job, security, and family behind to pursue a dream of traveling and dive into the world of ethical fashion, all without signing a contract, with no set plans for when I arrived- not even knowing where I’d lie my head when I landed. Doubt crept in on my 14-hour flight to Taiwan- shit, what am I doing?? Months later I’m thankful for walking on that flight from San Francisco because this trip is invaluable to me and I wouldn’t have changed a thing. I met people from around the world, and worked closely with warm, positive and friendly faces each day. I learned from a new culture, tried foods I never would have known existed otherwise, I saw poverty on a whole new level, and I immensely grew as a person. I thought I would share more of what Phnom Penh, Cambodia- my beloved home for the last three months, was really like.
Dressing for Function in a World Where Fast Fashion is Produced
Cambodia’s economy is largely supported by garment manufacturing- nearly 80% of it, in fact. Each morning after I hailed a tuk tuk, I was driven through the crowded streets filled with the masses on their commute. I saw an array of sights daily; most trips consisted of several double takes. I saw families of five tightly packed on to a single moto- with the mother cradling a new born, no one wearing helmets, people transporting nearly dead chickens to be sold in markets- hundreds of them strung together and helplessly dangling from the sides of the bikes, I saw young professionals dressed for the job on the way to the office, but largely I saw people dressed for function- meaning they simply dressed to fulfill the need to clothe themselves. Knowing that 80% of Cambodia’s income is made from manufacturing, a lot of the people I saw on these trips were on their way to make clothing for mass consumption- this includes a plethora of tonlé employees as well. Much has to do with the fact that AC is a luxury- I dressed mainly for function for work as well, temperatures creep into the 100’s in April and our workshop is lacking an AC unit. But in Cambodia the workweek is 6 days long- nearly 50 hours a week goes into making fast fashion- trends for western consumers. Yet these people are wearing what they can find cheapest at the market, no regard to what was in Vogue this month… They aren’t even making enough money to purchase the products they make relentlessly day in and day out ($1 USD= $4,000 CR)- yet westerners continue to demand for cheaper, fast and fastest fashion. This should be a wake up call to us all. The people who made your “oh so cute hi-lo fringe tank”(that you’ll wear three times before it’s out of fashion) are wearing clothes as a means to an end. They don’t have the privilege to buy the way we do- they are left wearing rejects from their manufactures- often printed in languages they can’t even read. Just last week a member of the sewing team wore a shirt that read, “Curiosity stole my virginity. You kissed killed.” Vulgar, beyond strange, and grammatically incorrect- but she was clueless- it was a clean shirt to wear to work that day. I encourage you to consider this when you think you need a new trendy item from an unethical fast-fashion empire. What’s more important- trends or the people who make your clothing? I love beautiful things, too- but try to remember clothing is merely a protector from the elements. This was eye opening for me- we have to be more conscience of our buying power, and our frequency of purchases.
This was a special day at the workshop- aren’t they lovely for Khmer New Year??
Being the Fat American and Body Image Around the World
After living in Phnom Penh I began to eat better- fresh fruit and veggies were readily available, and mainly my favorite western foods (like cheese) were not. So I lost a fair amount of weight that I was semi trying *to lose anyways. I was feeling much better about my body and more confident in myself- but I was still the fattest one in the room. Khmer women are naturally much smaller in frame than western bodies. My hips were easily twice as wide, my legs longer, and my arms much rounder. This was strange. At first it was way too easy to be critical of my own appearance and envy the petite Khmer women. I was hard on myself and each inch I lost I felt more comfortable in a culture filled with small women. It didn’t help that I also towered over most of the population- men included. Body image is such a dangerous thing- and oh so silly. I can’t help that I will – no matter at what weight- have the hips and curves I was dealt in life. Finally I came to terms with the fact that I look great(ish) and that I’d (even at a smaller weight) be asked to be the fit model for a size medium. Naturally we are all kinds of shapes and sizes. Please don’t let that voice in your head tell you you’re not beautiful. As Miny Kaling said “I can’t for the life of me not eat something that I want to eat. You know how if you turned on a faucet in your sink to wash your hands, the idea of leaving the bathroom without turning it off is insane? That’s how I am about ignoring delicious food.”- I have never connected to a quote more in my life. #NoShame
**Semi trying = attempting to go cold turkey on a diet plan with your roomie and a few days later binge eating an entire pizza and then going for ice cream**
Everyone says, “You always want what you don’t have” and unfortunately that typically proves to be true. Women are constantly bombarded with images of what we “should” look like in ads. In America that means to be beautiful you must be 9ft tall, have sparkling white teeth, a Brazilian tan, a microscopic waist, and no flaws. These standards shown on billboards and social media have been proven to make huge impacts on young girls in our society- and pushing them to try to confirm to impossible American beauty standards. This results in lack of self-esteem and sometimes eating disorders. The psychological damage is even more severe for the youth in Cambodia. They grow up and develop in a world where at least 95% of advisements for brands or retailers are depicted by Caucasian models. How is it possible to conform to those standards? They cannot. I can’t imagine how challenging it would be to grow up as a young girl in Phnom Penh and constantly see beauty depicted as another race- making you feel inadequate. Similar to products that tan your skin with bronzers in the U.S., Cambodia sells a lotion called “Instant Fair”- promoting beauty being just that- fair.
Body image is a huge part of growing up as girl and in today’s world with unrealistic weight, height, and now race standards to uphold -how can you mature to be confident? How can young people in Phnom Penh and other countries feel worthy when media is only showing them people who look nothing like them? I know depiction of race in ads is a controversial issue in several counties as well, but in a country where the population is compiled of 90% Khmer it is alarming to see beauty represented in a drastically different way then the people who reside there.
Running Errands is Whole New Monster in Phnom Penh
During my time at tonlé I got to do a little bit of everything- and I was eager to learn it all. My last couple of weeks part of my job was running errands with Ny, the workshop assistant. Ny does it all. He drives around the city on his moto bargaining with sellers in the market, picks up last minute odds and ends we need to finish orders, gets quotes for products for the new tonlé store, and anything else you can think of. This job is so important because it allows others to stay working instead of stopping to go buy what’s needed to complete their task. Like I mentioned before, in April the temperature rises to well over 100 degrees- so this job is no walk in the park, either. In America daily items can be found fairly easy in your city- at a department store, craft store, a Home Depot, or virtually anything you could ever desire from the internet- like Amazon. Those things don’t exist in Cambodia. It is really hard to run a western clothing company in Phnom Penh- when you need an item like chalkboard paint or sturdy shoe glue- you drive around for hours, sometimes days in markets with no avail. Amazon and Ebay won’t ship to Cambodia, if you find a seller that will they charge insane rates to have it shipped and it takes nearly a month to even arrive. This slows down production dramatically sometimes. Common apps like Spotify and Yelp don’t exist either- like I’ve mentioned before Netflix just arrived a couple of months ago! This makes tasks that are quick and painless in America a frustrating job in Phnom Penh. One task I helped Ny with was getting samples of hangers made. Businesses are so different in Phnom Penh ,too- we arrive at a shop that is just an open room, basically a shack on stilts with wood working supplies inside. The owner greeted Ny, shirtless and wearing just a wrap around his hips. This is normal business etiquette here. His wife sells cigarettes to passer-bys, and never moves from her stoop. This shop is also the man’s home (most likely), he lives below the shop- desperately poor. This is the norm in Phnom Penh. This same day we visited a business that sells mannequins. We are taken through a family’s apartment to reach the showroom above; we passed squatty potties, their kitchen, and a woman napping in a hammock. This is how life works in Phnom Penh; this is so different from the life I’ve always known. Business is very casual and no one goes out of his or her way to please you- essentially customer service doesn’t exist. For example in an office supply store we were told to walk down a different aisle, simply because the employees were sitting on the ground and blocking the aisle we were currently on. Once our samples were made and the mannequins we ordered were ready, Ny went to pick up the loot. The hangers are made with no workmanship- and vary drastically from the examples we provided. The mannequins are not the ones we had ordered. Both men wanted to be paid for the work they provided us- with no concern for pleasing us as paying customers. It’s not uncommon in Cambodia that you take one-step forward and twenty steps back.
This is Ny. We got in a minor tuk tuk accident (the norm) on this trip. We are drinking sugar cane juice out of plastic bags- everything is plastic in Phnom Penh- piles of plastic and other garbage line the streets.
This is a sewage river near the workshop. The stench was unbearable- until my nose adjusted a month in. Cambodia has inefficient plumbing and irrigation systems- trash piles up along here too.
This is the carpenter that attempted to make the hangers. Ny bargains with him in his home office.
It’s not uncommon to see games being played under overpasses.
Traveling Alone, but not Lonely
I didn’t allow myself to worry about loneliness until after I booked my flight to Cambodia. Then it flooded in- a slow panic. Moving to California alone for college affected me in ugly ways at times- I was overwhelmingly lonely and I couldn’t shake it. I envisioned myself being the kind of person who is fine being alone and enjoys it even- however that was not who I turned out to be. I was confident I was more mature now and I was ready for this adventure- talking myself up before I left… but I was terrified that loneliness would eat away at me and ruin my adventure. But I didn’t let it! After my culture shock wore off each day I felt less and less awkward doing practically everything alone. “Table for one!”- I repeated over and over for three months. I was constantly thankful for being on this journey, and taking it all in I barely ever stopped to think how alone I was. This was a game changer. This made moving across the world bearable. Thankfully I worked with some amazing people who showed me around a bit, my boyfriend visited, and my dad met me in Phnom Penh for my trek back State side. Soon everything felt familiar to me, yet so different from the life I led back home. It feels strange to be leaving now, when I was just starting to feel at home. I’m truly saddened to be parting with tonlé- I’ve never felt more connected and inspired in a job before. I cherish this time I had alone and I grew so much from pushing my own limits and throwing myself into a new culture. I have a new sense of confidence and I firmly believe if I can live in Phnom Penh- I can live anywhere. Traveling as a woman alone has its risks, but I’m proud of myself for not allowing fear to control my journey. I encourage everyone to get out of their comfort zone and travel alone- the empowerment you’ll gain is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.
Curry for one, please!
Making my big modeling break (finallllly)
Exploring the Aeon mall on my last week!
The sweet kids who are always ready to say hello!
My land lord’s scrappy lil pup.
The amazing tonlé team- at our Khmer New Year/ going away party!
Cheesin at our party
We played traditional Khmer New Year games.
I was powdered- Khmer New Year tradition
Showing my dad the art of the tuk tuk.
Outside the Royal Palace
Failed selfies in Siem Reap
Our hotel staff invited us to their employee Khmer New Year party- so kind
Rainy Hong Kong
Since leaving Phnom Penh I’m going through a reverse culture shock- AC is too cold for me-I shiver all the time, and everything seems way too nice-so fancy and extravagant. Making my way back to America- where most people know more about Texas than George Bush, gives me a new sense excitement for the unknown. A new feeling of guilt also sinks in- I was privillaged from birth- I could have been born in a third world country, where people struggle daily to provide food and shelter for themselves.I’ll always miss the kind tonlé team, the eager children on the streets chasing after me to say “hello”, Celine Dion constantly being on the radio and the warm hearted Khmer people. I’ll forever be grateful for my time in Cambodia, the friends I made, and the reassurance in the career path I’ve chosen. My one regret was not learning more Khmer- I’ll brush up before next time. Now it’s time to see my sweet sweet pets again <3
Thank you thank you thank you again to everyone who helped me make this trip possible- it means the world to me.
Love,
Kendal
