The Shit-Show That was 2015.

Yep. The way my boyfriend is looking at me pretty much sums up my 2015, and my face pretty much explains how I (mostly) handled it. I know everyone warns you post college life is challenging, but man was I unaware that my life literally proves every cliché to be true.

Looking back at the 2015 in review I can't help but to get insanely overwhelmed all over, so much changed and so many things went so so terribly wrong. If you know me, you probably know I'm the equivalent to Jerry from Parks and Rec, minus the fart attacks, thank god. I've titled my blog The Art of Resiliency and figured I should explain why for my first post. Resiliency is a word I became very familiar with learning about fabrics at FIDM. As it pertains to fabric it is the ability of a fabric or fiber to be manipulated and how it recovers- does it go back to its original form? So I'm spandex in this metaphor, but that's something very new to me. So I've taken this term and ran with it, constantly referring back to it's definition (the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity. 2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyancy.) and applying it to my constantly ridiculous life. The end result always varies- could be all smiles, or tears of frustration. By the definition, I’m buoyant, even in a life that sometimes leaves me feeling like I’ll surely drown- I’m a float.

The beginning of 2015, a huge decision took place, I left the University of North Texas indefinitely. I was unhappy with the education I was receiving and paying for and the lack of credits transferred. That started off my year in a focused chaos- prove to everyone (truly myself) that this was the smartest decision, and that I could adult on my own. At this time I was merely working as a bartender, and being a bartender sans being enrolled in college wasn’t exactly what I had imagined. So two friends of mine sat down with me and mapped out what I wanted out of my 2015… which, clearly, was silly to think you could plan life like that, but goals and a vision for the future truly helped me in the long run.

Flash-forward I was able to help open a new bar and be part of something that could have been really awesome in our community, which later ended up not panning out. I was diagnosed with RA at 22, when the typical person with RA is at least 50 years old. But all was okay, still afloat. I took a job as an assistant designer for a local fashion designer. This significantly made me feel I had made the right decision! I even traveled to NYC to pick out fabric for production, styled and put together a photo-shoot, and designed a collection. Then I was fired. This was the first time I’ve ever been terminated, especially without warning. Saying this was a blow to my ego, and my vision of 2015 is an understatement. That’s the point when I drowned. I was jobless, with rent to pay, and pets to support. This made me doubt my choices and my talents and frankly turned me into a person I didn’t desire to be. With amazing support from close friends, family, and an incredibly positive boyfriend I began to slowly learn to swim again. Job number three was teaching pre-school. Not my dream job, but shaping delicate sweet minds sounded like a positive to me! Nope. Hard pass. Being in charge of 18 screaming children, some potty trained, some not, oh and without a teacher’s aid- impossible. Jobless, yet again. I started to feel that sinking feeling again, which was becoming way too familiar. At this point I had decided I was past serving tables and bartending- because I had a degree and was proving it wasn’t a waste. I’m stubborn and stuck to my guns on this one, thankfully. I sent my newly designed resume around and sat behind my computer and waited. At this point I’m basically the toddler in the kiddy pool with arm floaties, looking for an edge to cling to.

I land an opportunity to work the Apparel Market at the Dallas Market Center-AWESOME. It’s as a temp, for only three days…still jobless. A couple interviews later and I’m offered a full time position at a new boutique, which takes another two months to open... A maxed out credit card and bruised ego later I finally have a steady job in an industry I enjoy. From this crazy year I’ve learned nothing is permanent and things most definitely happen for a reason. I learned to always strive for bigger things, and look for new adventures- whether that’s a job you’re “under-qualified” for or a chance to move across the world. I’m not happy in a state of settling, and for that reason I’m where I am today.

With a simple email I was able to eventually accept an internship with an eco-friendly clothing company Tonlé learn more about that journey here and in 10 days I’ll be moving to Cambodia, this same time in 2015 I decided to quit school, proving things happen for a reason. So the year I refer to as “Shit Show” turned out to be one of my favorite years so far. I’m so thankful for how the past year played out-I’ve met some really interesting awesome people, had a million jobs, started dating a phenomenally perfect human, traveled some and grew enormously. So far 2016 is starting out as an adventure and for now I’m still floating.

Things that will happen: You’ll get a parking ticket and your friend who parked next to you won’t…twice.

Advice: Don’t be afraid to apply to 1,000 jobs and send the emails that can change your life.

Remember: You’re your biggest enemy.

Advice: Don’t settle, move if you want, date someone who makes you laugh, if you’re not happy change it.

Truth: Post college life is a bitch.